I want to feel self-love but where do I start…..?

Not sure where to begin the courtship with yourself? It’s exciting! (and very rewarding) But most of all, it can be challenging; mostly because it begins with being honest with yourself. I like to compare this Self Love concept to the making of a self-sabotaging cake. We tediously create this alluring looking cake, decorating it with pearls and ribbons, showing the world how beautiful and delicious it is. When in reality the inside is hollow, making it completely inadequate and useless. What is a cake without that gooey inside?!

People are the exact same way. We try so hard to construct this illusion of what we want the world to see, decorating ourselves in a certain way to hide what’s really going on inside. We define what makes us happy and establish our sense of self worth by what other people deem as acceptable. Why do we need other people’s approval to move forward with our lives? Because we’re too busy mixing our self-sabotaging cake we want everyone to admire, that’s why. Self-love is about developing the inside of our cake; the delicious layers that make us unique and exceptional. It’s about revealing our true insides, our core, and accepting and understanding who we really are.

Take responsibility for your life

It’s no one else’s fault you’re unhappy with your life. Yes people influence you, yes unexpected things can happen but you are completely responsible for how YOU react to life. YOU determine your happiness and how your life unfolds. Take complete and utter responsibility for your life – this is YOUR creation.

Embrace what it means to be alone (trust me, it’s not so scary)

Take some time for yourself! Seriously, you’re so busy being available for others, rummaging through everyone else’s life and concerning yourself with STUFF! Take a break. Give yourself time to breathe.  Challenge yourself to turn your phone off for 30 minutes a day. Do something purely for you, whether it be: going out in nature, drawing, dancing, reading a book, yoga, playing with your dog, play some music, whatever makes your heart sing. And do it without interruptions from anyone.

Suspend your Social Media… !

I would get so overwhelmed by the noise that came screaming out at me as I browsed through the Newsfeed on Facebook, I felt bombarded. Everyone had an opinion on whatever social or political matter was going on at the time.  I also started to pay attention to the times I would check my Facebook. I was usually using it as a way to pass the time. The conversation with myself went a little bit like this, “I tell myself I’m going to do this, or do that, meanwhile I’m wasting time aimlessly gazing at other people’s lives and getting involved with drama.”

I’m obviously not against Facebook  by any means, it’s a wonderful way of communicating but there are ways to adjust what we see and how often we see it and from who.

Throw your scales in the bin!

Life isn’t measured by pounds and fat content. Meaning, stop being unfair to your body. We worry about what others will think about how we look rather than loving it – FULL STOP!  Learn to understand your body and its limits. If your body isn’t physically built to maintain a size zero frame, why push it into an unnatural state? Measure how you feel based on what your body TELLS you, LISTEN to yourself for a change, not the scales. Your body is to be cherished and appreciated, it holds together your precious organs that keep you alive and it’s the only one you have, so respect and honour it.